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КОМУ ПРИНАДЛЕЖИТ ВАША ЖИЗНЬ? Маме, папе или может, той женщине из поликлиники, которая сказала, что в медицине таким неряхам делать нечего? Моя принадлежит кому угодно, но только не мне. Поступление с оглядкой на тётю Машу, нелюбимая работа, бытовуха, старость, смерть. Ни сбывшихся мечт, ни достигнутых целей, ни радости. Вообще ничего. Это один из возможных (очень даже) сценариев моей жизни. Я очень зависима от общества По результатам проф. тестов, моя мотивация к учёбе -  достижение "успешного успеха",а моё отношение к спетаклю зависит от мнения остальных. Из-за этого я часто кажусь лицемерной и двуличной, но у меня просто нет своего мнения, и я привыкла подстраиваться под обществом. К этому причастны и родители с гиперопекой, и общество со своими высокими стандартами. Но реально никто не виноват, ведь все эти люди стали такими же жертвами. И чтобы избежать ещё больших жертв, я просто хочу напомнить: Жизнь - только твоя. Ей должн_а распоряжаться только ты, а не родители или дядя Петя из 3 подъезда. Поэтому просто забей на всех и кайфуй. Прислушивайся к себе и делай то, что ты действительно хочешь. Жизнь прекрасна. А если пока нет, то в твоих силах все изменить. Дерзайте, люблю, Мия

Trying to forgive and forget about my relapse and start fresh. Healthy living lamb kofta from Asda with steamed vegetables and mushy peas. A nutrious, filling combination for a bloated Bulimic 🥦🥕💕♥️ #bulimiarecovery #bulimiafighter #healthylifestyle #recovery #determined💪 #healthyandtasty

I love practicing and drilling. I enjoy just trying to slowly figure things out on my own. And that means I really have to let go of trying to be perfect. Getting things right the first time. Who even does that really? Where’s the satisfaction, wonder, and joy in a perfect, challenge free life? 💫⭐️✨⭐️🌙✨💫⭐️✨🌙 My body has always struggled with handstands, and that’s okay. I’ll keep practicing and refining, and I’ll make it there on my own - because I really think I need to slow down and focus in on the joy that comes from being in practice and in process. Of continuously building. It feels more expansive than trying to restrict and keep myself one way forever. Of building my house with blocks of shame and “well I can’t”. 💫🌟🌙✨🌟✨ Disordered eating only projects one goal and one picture of you into your heart and self worth - and that version is static and yet always weighing less and less. There is no process of growing and learning, there is only turning the same behavior wheels, to keep and maintain an emergency and starved state. There is no joy, there is only constant vigilance. And there isn’t true expression, because you’re just trying to make yourself disappear. ⭐️🌟💫✨🌙🌟✨🌙💫🌟💫 Disordered eating is self abuse for a goal your soul doesn’t want. And I’m letting that go, and embracing failure, change, uncertainty, and joy instead. If you’re in it, if you have shame, or anything, even if you just need to put it out into the world that sometimes you’re too hard on yourself, Let’s talk about it. All of my growth started from just having people loving enough to listen, giving me room to really hear myself. I’m here and dealing with it too, and you’re not alone. ✋🏻❤️ #selflove #selfcare #edrecovery #recoverystory #growth #change #acceptance #love #handstands #movementtherapy #recoveryispossible #recoveryisworthit #recoveryisreal #bulimiarecovery #austin #atx #nourishyourbody #eattolive #joy

Ok guys so this is my snack, melon, some chia and oats. And my lunch was some soup with chicken and veggies. ◾ I feel very satisfied actually, since I have been doing OMAD (One meal a day), I enjoy food but what I hate is eating before my meal time. I have one coping skill that is helping me a lot, I'll show you later. -------- About the melon snack I'm a little guilty (sugar scares me even if it is in fuit) but I know that if I don't eat something sweet after my lunch I'll have the urge to binge later, so I better eat now. ◾💕 Fighting!! #eatingdissorder #eatingdisordermemes #anorexiarecovery #bingeeating #bingerecovery #prorecovery #ana #mia #bulimiarecovery #thinspiraton #food #journaling #coping #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #restricting #restrict #recovery #mentalhealth #nourishtoflourish #beatana #edfamiliy #depressionrecovery #anxietyrelief

When someone talks to you about a problem they are having, or shares they are struggling, how do you react? ⠀ Often, some of us feel this pressure to “fix others”, make them feel better or take away their pain. We feel pressure. ⠀ This leads us to doing weird things like... - giving people unsolicited advice or solutions⠀ - trying to calm people down ⠀ - trying to force positivity or encouraging them to see the silver lining ⠀ This sends a subliminal message that emotions aren’t okay. Or that humans aren’t allowed to be upset or struggling. ⠀ Nobody needs us to take their pain away. ⠀ The most powerful thing we can do for another human being is sit knee to knee with them, fully see their pain and support them until they are ready to release it for themselves.⠀ ⠀ Practice this with everyone in your life- your SO, friends, kids and parents and watch your relationships flourish. ⠀ People don’t need to be fixed, they need to be heard and loved. #therapyiscool #mentalhealth #selflove #selfcare

I’ll be posting “My personal experience with the British Adolescent Mental Health Services” tomorrow because I haven’t quite finished writing it and I’ve also seen a lot of hate around feminists in the media lately so I thought this post was needed💗 _ #feminist #blairwaldorf #leightonmeester #serenavanderwoodsen #blakelively #likeforlikes #followforfollowback #gossipgirl #melaniemartinez #dovecameron #taylorswift #demilovato #selenagomez #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillness #depresssion #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #ednosrecovery #f4f #l4l

Helvetin vaikea päivä. Ahdisti ja jahkailin, uskallanko lähteä huomenna reissuun, vertaistukitapahtumaan. Päätin lopulta lähteä, oisin varmaan muuten niin pettynyt itseeni. Oon kuitenkin oottanut reissuun pääsyä, oon muuten niin paljon (liikaa!) kotona. #bulimiafree #freefrombulimia #fdoe #bulimiarecovery #edrecovery #syömishäiriö#syömishäiriöstätoipuminen #stopbingeeating #stopbulimia #fuckbulimia

Buonasera❤️ Scusatemi se non sono molto attiva, ma con la scuola è ricominciata la mia impegnata routine quotidiana e preferisco tenermi attiva nelle storie, salvo imprevisti tipo oggi, che non sono stata per niente bene (mentalmente) e ho deciso di staccare dal telefono per tutto il giorno. 😔💜 Voi come state? Io ancora per niente bene, quando litigo con mia mamma mi sento a pezzi per giorni, per fortuna c'è la palestra che mi fa spuntare subito il sorriso😌❤️. Questa è la colazione deliziosa che ho fatto questa mattina con fette biscottate integrali, nut choc della @prozisitalia, yogurt greco e cannella😊💗. Buona serata a tutti, spero che abbiate passato giorni migliori dei miei ultimamente🙄💜 #ana #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #anoressiaitalia #bulimia #bulimiarecovery #bulimiaitalia #depression #cutting #selflove #motivation #love #proudofmyself #nevergiveup #bodybuilding #alimentazionesana #massamuscolare #fitgirl #ortorexia

Anyone always in a rush in the mornings?🙋🏻‍♀️ I made these raspberry white chocolate protein bars so I don’t unintentionally skip meals while I’m at school (recovery win✌️) Plus, store-bought protein bars are overrated 😉 - Ingredients: • 50g protein powder • 50g runny peanut butter • 20g coconut flour • 1/2 cup almond milk • 1tbsp stevia • any toppings you desire - Instructions: 1️⃣Mix all dry ingredients 2️⃣Add almond milk + nut butter and mix well 3️⃣Fold in your toppings 4️⃣Press mixture into baking pan 5️⃣Place them in the freezer for up to an hour before cutting into 6 bars. Enjoy ❤️

Body positivity/love is not an all or nothing kind of idea. Sometimes I’m at peace with my body, most of the time, I can respect it but not necessarily love it that day. Guess what? It’s okay! Today, I’m accepting my body for what it is, what it’s not and what it does. Who knows how I’ll feel tomorrow but what’s consistent is body appreciation. 😍Where are you on the spectrum? . Posted @withrepost • @empoweredeatingrd There are different stages in learning how to love your body. And these stages are fluid. And you can move throughout these stages at any time during recovery and even after recovery . . It’s ok if you aren’t in love with the way your body looks, all the time. That’s actually a very unrealistic expectation . . Bottom line: You don’t have to wait to love your body to respect it.And one step to food and body freedom is giving your body what it needs (food, rest, movement, sleep) . . . #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #edwarrior #recoverywarrior #bulimiarecovery #2fab4ana #bedrecovery #bodypositivity #bodypositive #bopo #haes #healthateverysize #nondiet #antidiet #dietitian #losehatenotweight #dmv #columbia #greenbelt #maryland

Things in my head have not been great lately. My treatment team tries to reassure me that the stronger I'm becoming in my recovery, the louder my disordered thoughts become. This doesn't math-up for me. If I'm 'stronger' shouldn't my thoughts be softer, more quiet, nicer? When does the shift occur, and how do I get there? . I do notice some shifting thoughts: foods aren't as scary as they were when I first entered treatment. I can use a microwave with only passing judgements instead of immobilizing resentment. My urges to purge have basically dissapeared-in fact it's been 53 days since the last act. . But oh, how I still loathe my body. My thoughts surrounding my body image scream, "RESTRICT! RESTRICT!" and at each meal, when I complete 90-100%, they scream, "FAILURE! DISGUSTING! SHAMEFUL!" and my motivation sinks. I'm so afraid that after all this work, time, and money, I'm going to walk away from treatment hating my body. And that this hatred will lead to relapse. . I wish I had an uplifting post filled with self-compassion, hopes, and success. That's not where I'm at today, and I felt it was important to put these thoughts into the World, out of my head. Recovery is not linear. It's not Rainbow Unicorns and talking woodland creatures 100% of the time. . Recovery is hard. It's thunderclouds and crashing waves. It's curling up on the couch with a glass of tea, giving your thoughts to the internet. . Recovery is all these things. Recovery is worth it.

This week has been busy—or more so, I’ve been not so great at taking pauses at work 🖥 🛋 I’ve learned over the last few months that I need little breaks throughout the day—a trip to the water cooler, checking in with a coworker 🗣 Here’s what my break looked like on Tuesday ⤴️ This book is definitely one of my faves! It has such good tips on how to move away from diet culture, self hatred, and move towards self-compassion and nourishing your body. Ya girl also loves a good cuppa ☕️ • • • #therapy #therapist #mentalhealthcounselor #selfcare #selfcompassion #edrecovery #recoverywarrior #edwarrior #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #bingeeatingdisorderrecovery #bingeeatingrecovery #treatpeoplewithkindness #bodykindness #bodypositivity #bopo #haes #intuitiveeating #intuitivemovement

Had a super nice today!! ⁣ ⁣ A few of my old flatmates came to see me in London and we went on a little adventure ⁣ ⁣ First we got the bus through central to show them the sights and ended up in Islington (when am I not there? 😂) we walked up Upper St to Holloway right by my work and went to an AMAZING little restaurant called Bird. They have a few locations and do THE BEST gluten free fried chicken. I had fried chicken, cheesey chips and FRIED PICKLES 🤤🤤 ⁣ ⁣ We hopped on the bus to Shoreditch and went and played a bit of crazy golf (I came second lads 🙌🏻) it’s such a fun course and the drinks are to die for! ⁣ ⁣ Eating out is still a struggle for me, it’s made easier when I’m around people I feel safe around but it’s still hard to eat out in public, my anxieties and disordered thoughts are still so loud and that makes it a bit of a stressful experience but I did it and I’m so happy I did because the gluten free goodness was so worth it!⁣ ⁣ I’m back to university on Sunday and I know that’s going to be hard, being home doesn’t fix anything but I feel more at ease here, popping up to Islington, walking round Hyde Park, all things I can’t do when I’m at uni. But it’s the last final push, I can do this! ⁣ ⁣ Hope everyone had a lovely day 💖 #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorders #bulimia #bulimianervosa #bulimiarecovery #bulimianervosarecovery #recovery #relapse #resturant #bulimiafighter #bulimiawarrior #london #glutenfree #golf

Finding my path to recovery is definitely not easy. You take one step forward and feel like you have fallen 10 steps backwards. I honestly don’t know if I can trust. Everything, the words, the betrayal, lies and the rumours, it’s all coming out. No one is asking me or talking to me about it, just talking about me instead. Do I even exist? Nobody seems to understand. Why is that mental illness or eating disorders are perceived in such a negative way in society? I may suffer from anxiety, depression and have an eating disorder but that doesn’t mean it defines who I am. I’m still trying to rediscover myself. #rediscoveringmyself #fightingforrecovery #mentalillnessrecovery #edrecovery #bulimiarecovery #anxiety #depression #lies

There are different stages in learning how to love your body. And these stages are fluid. And you can move throughout these stages at any time during recovery and even after recovery . . It’s ok if you aren’t in love with the way your body looks, all the time. That’s actually a very unrealistic expectation . . Bottom line: You don’t have to wait to love your body to respect it.And one step to food and body freedom is giving your body what it needs (food, rest, movement, sleep) . . . #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #edwarrior #recoverywarrior #bulimiarecovery #2fab4ana #bedrecovery #bodypositivity #bodypositive #bopo #haes #healthateverysize #nondiet #antidiet #dietitian #losehatenotweight #dmv #columbia #greenbelt #maryland

• Weight is not health Surrounded by diet culture and fat phobia and it. Is. Tiring. I very purposely cut myself off from accounts, people, media.. that spin this rhetoric. The “health” is being within a certain weight range/ a certain aesthetic/ a certain type of eating rhetoric. I had to protect myself. My identity was so integrally wound up in this “wellness” ideal- I lived my life by it, my value system; even a successful business! I kept myself as far away from this stuff as I could because, honestly, when I hear it it is like golden honey dripping from peoples mouths. It lures me in, my orthorexic brain starts spinning and calculating how we can “get back to this” / “how that mind set can live alongside being recovered” (hint: it can’t). Today I had to sit in a meeting and listen to colleague chit chat about weight loss. I saw thin “acceptable” bodies give advice (aka fat shame) larger bodies and it pained me. It hurt my brain (who started telling throwing insults at my current body, compared to the “fit” ideal it used to be). But I found myself speaking up and calling bull on their healthism- the standard move more, eat less with a side of ‘if you can’t lose weight you should probably go to the doctor- there’s something wrong’. What’s wrong is the stigma surrounding larger bodies, this is what causes poorer health outcomes, not their body fat. What’s wrong is we live in a world where beautiful=thin (and white/cis/Eurocentric). No dear, beautiful woman in a large body. There is nothing wrong with you. Your body is beautiful and perfect. Your weight knows where to fall, when you feed your mind body and soul. I’m proud- not perfect- but proud. Because my eating disorder ate me up, it berated me: in fact I’ve spent the whole evening in bits feelings like I want to rip the skin and fat off my body. But that’s the thing; it doesn’t start as a belief system. We aren’t born believing all of diet cultures rules, it’s the drip-drip-drip of its messages every day that we internalise. So just the same, it is the small acts of social justice, of expressing a new thought, of standing up to a bigoted opinion that allow us to reprogram our selves for the better.

I'm on the verge of a fucking panic attack. My art teacher, sweet as can be but I could not today. She was rushing me to submit a picture for her to print bc we're doing self portrait and I'm literally the ugliest fucking thing. I hated every picture they took and I feel like crying because I'm so disappointed. Like just when you think you look aight, all it takes is one look in a different mirror or a picture that ruins everything - - - - #edrecovery #eatingdisorder #bulimia #anorexia #ednos #eatingdisorderrecovery #bodydysmorphia #selfhate #selflove #anxiety #depression #mentalhealth #mentalillness #bingepurge #anorexiarecovery#bulimiarecovery #bodypositive #bodypositivity

Happy Thursday, blossoms! Is it just me, or does it feel like today should be Friday? Even though I’m a little salty that it’s not the weekend yet, let’s get thankful! It’s #thankfulthursday! . I’m pretty sure I’ve shared something like this before because I get so mad when people say that “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”, like, have you ever had goat cheese? Have you ever had your mom’s cooking? Have you ever had cereal at 3 PM?? All of those things taste better than skinny feels. . In fact, I was writing this post (originally) before lunch, and thinking about all the yummy things that I like to enjoy made me so hungry that I had to go get something to eat! I’m so grateful to live in a world where we have such delicious food and I get to enjoy it. I’m thankful for the fact that I realized that chasing skinny wasn’t taking me anywhere. And that I discovered Korean food, pesto pizza, Merlot-soaked cheese, and buffalo sauce. Because they all taste waaaaay better than skinny will ever feel. What are your favorite foods, blossoms? 💕🌸

✨If you're not recovering from your eating disorder/mental illness, then you're dying from it!✨ Day 9 Today I only had sports therapy besides my meals. We went indoor biking (Ergometer in German, don't know if there's an English word for it lol) and I was excited to finally do "real" sports again. But I had to realize, that it's still extremely difficult for me to listen to my body and I didn't turn down the watts soon enough, so I was really exhausted afterwards. On another note: I managed two snacks today 🎉 day one from my weekly goal completed ✔️ a whole Banana, salted peanuts and five small chocolate cookies 😍 the meals went okay as well and I managed my meal plan for today.😎 I hope this positive feeling will last for a bit and I will manage to gain enough weight until Tuesday! Stay strong and keep fighting! Love, Lisa😘 . . . (this morning at weigh in I had lost another 100g and I honestly don't know why!?! I didn't cut anything down nor moved more than usual. I guess it's just water or normal weight fluctuations. It also showed me tho, that I really have to keep. Reminding. Myself. To. Eat! My body needs the fuel and so does yours 💕) . . . #schönklinik #schönklinikbadbramstedt #inpatient #edrecovery #essstörung #mentalhealth

Hejka kochani! ❤️ Dzisiaj będzie trochę o akceptacji siebie. Wczoraj miałam wieczór głębokich przemyśleń (poszłam spać o 1 🙈). Oprócz tego zrobiłam mój pierwszy, w miarę profesjonalny plan dietetyczny na 1500-1700 kcal 🥰 Jestem z niego naprawdę dumna i mam zamiar zastosować go jakoś na dniach 🌈 Chcecie abym relacjonowała wam to co jem? A może chcecie, abym udostępniła wam go tu? Piszcie w komentarzach! ❤️ Jeśli miałby on komuś pomóc, to z jak największą przyjemnością to zrobię ☺️ Ale wracając do akceptacji, bo jak zwykle rozpędziłam się nie z tym tematem co trzeba haha 😂❤️ Więc moim zdaniem każdy powinien sobie zadać pytanie: Czym dla niego jest akceptacja siebie i czy potrafi tego dokonać? ❤️ W obecnych czasach w internecie, telewizji czy prasie nie brakuje zdjęć wyidealizowanych modelek o perfekcyjnym życiu i wyglądzie. A właśnie takie rzeczy prowadzą do obniżenia samooceny i własnej wartości u ludzi (szczególnie kobiet i nastolatek). Dziewczyny dążą do tego, żeby wyglądać tak jak najzgrabniejsze gwiazdy. Tylko po co? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Po co zmieniać się i porównywać do innych? Każdy jest inny i właśnie to jest w tym wszystkim najlepsze ❤️ Ale ja też kiedyś tego nie wiedziałam. I dlatego zachorowałam na zaburzenia odżywiania: anoreksję, bulimię i kompulsywne objadanie 😔 Chciałam być „idealna”. Teraz już wiem, że to było bez sensu. Zrozumiałam to po 4 latach choroby. Nie mogę powiedzieć że już jestem zdrowa i wszystko jest super. Są lepsze i gorsze dni. Czasem zdarzają się napady i wymioty. Nie mam sylwetki modelki, a w sumie to nawet przeciwnie haha (ważę obecnie najwiecej w życiu 😂) Ale najważniejsze jest to że próbujesz! Że chcesz coś z tym zrobić! Chcesz to pokonać 💪🏻 A pierwszym krokiem do osiągnięcia tego jest właśnie zaakceptowanie siebie takim, jakim się jest ❤️ Bez niej nie uda się powrócić do zdrowia, uwierzcie... Ale jeśli ją zdobędziemy, wszystko stanie się prostsze. ❤️❤️❤️ Dlatego zadanie na dziś: stań przed lustrem i powiem do siebie: JEST OK! 💞💕 A teraz wracam do lekcji. Buziaki 🥰 #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #acceptance #acceptyourself #unperfect #healthy #mentalhealth #health #loveyourself #therapy #zaburzeniaodżywiania

Hi guys long time no see 😅❤️ hope y’all doing okay 👌🏼 As always my post are all about conclusions that I’ve come in my “recovery”... yes right it’s in quotation marks cause it’s not really a recovery I’m still terrified of weight gain and day dreaming about being the smallest version of myself. I don’t know how possible change that and I’m scared that this is it, that’s gonna be my life. Looking back in past two years I achieved nothing despite surviving. I did not got my driving license I did not pass my math test and I even don’t want to learn for them. I hate that all of my thoughts are tight to food and that I can’t move forward, I wish that my life was different and I’m so very pissed that I can’t put in order and just spend my time as my friends. I wish to go to collage drive a car and maybe have half time job and don’t care whatever I’m having salad or cheeseburger for dinner, or if I didn’t put to much nut butter in my oatmeal each morning. I know what I sad before that I do realize there is a life beyond ed but I am running out of ideas how to reach it. It’s is hard to live when you don’t know what to do about your live, how to live it, and be in that shell of nothingness, I really want it to stop I want to take control over my live and let go of idea that I am miss nobody and it will stay that way. Sorry for negativity but I needed to get if off my chest. Few days ago my girlfriend and I made sushi 🍣 best one I’ve eaten so far ❤️ #caloriesdontcount #perfectionisnotreal #nourishnotpunish #struggle #eatittobeatit #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #eatingdisorderecovery #negativity #warrior #recovery #recoveryroad #struggle #dailyfood #choosetobehappy #fight

so so soooo greatful for the fact that i can finally be at the point where i can lose weight healthily, if i chose too. i don’t have to worry about fainting on my run, or breaking a brittle bone, or having no breath due to have eating nothing for days. i can finally get out of bed and still have energy to walk to the bathroom. i can eat after a work out and not have guilt. i can go to dance class and enjoy it. i’m finally free. my ed has taken so much from me. relationships, body health, mental health, time, memories, parts of my soul, but i am now at a point where i can gain that all back and more so. i’m so exited to see where the rest of my journey leads me. and so happy i have made it here. you are all so strong and fucking beautiful you will make it. you will survive and come out thriving. i believe in you even when you don’t!! 🥰🥰 #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #bodypositivity #everybodyisbeautiful #youcandothis

#10yearchallenge Let's not talk about the picture, let's talk about stories behind it. I have nothing to hide. 10 years ago I was still fighting with bulimia. I feel like an AA now,but why hide. That's life and each day we learn something new about us and our bodies and minds #nowandthen #challenge2019 #10yearslater #recoveryisworthit #bulimiarecovery #bulimia #artists #lifeline #lessonstolearn #lessonlearned #photography #outdoorshooting #nailpictures #nailit #susannehassler #schönbrunn #vienna🇦🇹 #nothingtohide #donthide #beyourbestyou #beyoutiful

Saw the 10 year photo challenge and decided to include a few extra years, because they're part of my journey. Starting in the top left 2006, 2008, 2011, 2012, 2014, 2014, 2015, 2018, 2018. From chubby child, to a broken pre-teen with Anorexia and later Bulimia, to LGBT+ senior in high school, to proud college student, to angsty transman, to questioning young adult, to woman getting engaged, to mother and wife, and lastly me currently. It's been hard. Years of finding myself, struggling with mental illness, redefining my spirituality, battling the world around me and the stereotypes I should have fit into. I still struggle with food, I'm still LGBT+ even if I don't have that life anymore, I'm still just as lost. But I'm not lonely. I have a bright and beautiful family that I thought I'd never have, and they help me find myself amongst the muck daily. And these life experiences are a lot of the inspiration behind my dolls. Theo abd Gwen especially are based on who I was, who I am, and who I'm becoming in life. Thank you to my past selves, and may there be many more exciting years ahead. #10yearchallenge #10yearphotochallenge #alookintothepast #comparisonphoto #gettingolder #growingup #anorexianerviosa #bulimiarecovery #anorexiarecovery #bulimianerviosa #lgbt #lgbtally #ftmtransgender #transman #detransitioning #depression #anxiety #mentalhealth #mentalillness #fightthestigma #family #husband #children #wife #mom #personalgrowth #nevertoooldtolearn #teachinganolddognewtricks #thankful #blessed

Accepting yourself!- not easy! You don’t have to love yourself, how you look or the way you act. But realise that you will not find happiness by hating on yourself. Peace cannot coincide with war. Happiness comes when you chose to stop being your own worst enemy and to start to show yourself a little love and kindness instead. You are beautiful and strong no matter what you tell yourself when you are alone.❤️


2 Hours Ago

Today was remicade infusion day. We started a larger dose today. The side effects hit my like a train and now I’m in bed watching @_emmachamberlain so it’s all Gucci sis 🤩 I’m feeling super duper crappy lately which sUcKs so hopefully the remicade will help!!

Buonasera 🌆 Stasera non so cosa dirvi 😅... Le mie giornate sono tutte uguali, palestra,pranzo,studio,merenda,passeggiate, cena e dormo. L'unica cosa che mi viene da dire è che vita di merda ...È vita uscire solo per andare in palestra ✖️? Io non ho mai detto " esco con questa persona" e magari tornare a casa con il sorriso😄 , ogni volta che esco con una mia ' amica' ,che mi scrive📱 solo quando non ci sono altre sue amiche, torno con gli occhi gonfi 👀e una voglia assurda di farla finita.🔫 Nessuno si preoccupa per me e quello che c'è nella mia testa.🤯 CENA: - Patate al forno - Ultime carotine lesse rimaste (😭) - Primo sale - Verza in padella +3 Gallette e una mela piccola. #bulimiarecovery #bulimia #anoressiarecovery #anoressia #foodphotography #foodblogger #food #eatingdissorder #blog #imsorry #imsotired

A compilation of pornographic #breakfast 🍳 My bf likes to eat out a lot and while it can be stressful, I'd say it's really helped me. I don't mind eating out in public so much anymore, but I still get self conscious if I'm eating alone with one person 😅 #edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #eatittobeatit #nourishtoflourish #recoveryisworthit #yolkporn


2 Hours Ago

Ночь пугает меня,  превышая лимит тишины. с каждым годом она  все чернее мне делает душу. помоги мне уснуть,  мне не снятся красивые сны, дай мне крышу над домом прочнее,  и мягче подушку.💜 #Астахова Сама не пишу..📝Схоже, коли в мене в житті щось стає трішки краще нічого в голову не приходить😌 Ви ж памьятаєте мої лише песимістичні і ностальгічні ,рядки ?😔Але читати вірші я обожнюю ,як і @ah_astakhova 💜Люблю і відчуваю себе у них🌿

FREE WORKBOOK // I'm truly grateful to those of you who make space for me in your inbox, and I want to say thank you! This year, I've started sharing special treats in each weekly newsletter. ・ Coming this Friday (tomorrow!) for subscribers: a BRAND-NEW Eating Addiction/Eating Disorders Workbook. It's the companion to my ebook, which comes free with sign-up (link in profile) ⇒ ・ ・ ・ #freegift #healthyeating #healthylifestyle #eatingdisorder #eatingaddiction #edworkbook #addiction #recovery #anarecovery #bulimiarecovery #mentalhealth #holistic #holisticmedicine #chinesemedicine #yoga #ayurveda #simpleliving #slowliving #intuitiveeating #plantbased #paleo #primal #realfood #rfwf #healing #health #women #womxn #wellness #nelsonbc

I’ve been to crochet club this evening. I wasn’t organised enough to bake anything this week 🙈 so I took these mini cupcakes with me and I ate 2 in front of the rest of the group!!! Terrifying but I’m so glad I managed it because they were gooooood 😋 hope everyone’s week is going well 💕 #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealthmatters #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #ed #edwarrior #edrecovery #edfam #edfamiliy #edwontwin #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #ana #anarecovery #anorexiawarrior #eatittobeatit #bulimia #bulimiarecovery #depression #depressionrecovery #anxiety #anxietyrecovery #recovery #prorecovery #recoveryisworthit #crochet #chocolatecupcakes #cupcakes

Out of class early, no homework, and I’m feee for the rest of the afternoon. Do you know what that calls for? Sushi! 🍣 Sushi is my all time favorite food and I’m so very glad that I get to sit down and enjoy this yummy goodness for my lunch today! 💛 - - - - #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #foodie #foodblogger #edwarrior #selfcare #beateatingdisorders #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #bulimia #bulimiarecovery #anorexiarecovery #bulimianervosarecovery #anorexia #treatyoself #selflove #bodypositivity #compassion #recovery #mentalillness #bodyacceptance #mindfulness #edrecoverywarrior #edrecoveryjourney #nourishtoflourish #vegan #veganrecipes #recoverywin #fearfood

This week has been busy—or more so, I’ve been not so great at taking pauses at work 🖥 🛋 I’ve learned over the last few months that I need little breaks throughout the day—a trip to the water cooler, checking in with a coworker 🗣 Here’s what my break looked like on Tuesday ⤴️ This book is definitely one of my faves! It has such good tips on how to move away from diet culture, self hatred, and move towards self-compassion and nourishing your body. Ya girl also loves a good cuppa ☕️ • • • #therapy #therapist #mentalhealthcounselor #selfcare #selfcompassion #edrecovery #recoverywarrior #edwarrior #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #bingeeatingdisorderrecovery #bingeeatingrecovery #treatpeoplewithkindness #bodykindness #bodypositivity #bopo #haes #intuitiveeating #intuitivemovement


Yes, I know I keep banging on about it but the binge eating therapy group commences in 12 days time in Ealing, London and there are a couple of spaces available. . Shout out to @counsellingwithewan for inadvertently giving me the idea to split my videos to get all my ramblings in - that’s a game changer! . Thanks to @healthlifestylist for making me accountable. #thankyoucathyheller @cathy.heller . #bingeeating #bingeeatingrecovery #bingeeatingdisorder #bulimia #bulimiarecovery #edrecovery #edquotes #overeatersanonymous #compulsiveovereating #compulsiveovereater #oa #grouptherapy #therapylondon #ealing #ealingbroadway #ealingcommon

The more you are able to let go of obsessive thoughts about food, eating, weight, and body shape, the more room you will have for other, more meaningful thoughts and ideas. . . Your world will begin to expand as you find room for things that excite you and fulfill you - like creative expression, pursuing goals, connecting with others, and enjoying yourself! . . Thanks for sharing @irismcalpin #repost @jessmalingowski . . #prorecovery #edrecovery #edrecoveryadvocate #edfighter #edrecoverywarrior #edfamily #eatingdisorderawarenes #eatingdisordersupport #eatingdisorderhelp #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #bingeeatingdisorderrecovery #osfedrecovery #ednosrecovery #orthorexiarecovery #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthwellness #projectheal

When thinking about this photo, I kept hearing the Sunday School song “Oh be careful little eyes what you see…” 👀👀 . While that song is more geared towards keeping your eyes and mind pure, I think it applies for what you’re looking at on social media. Every day, we are inundated with everyone’s “best.” Their best angle, best lighting, best moment, best workout, best meal, blah blah blah. People can make their lives and even themselves look however they want! . It leave us comparing our worst or our normal with their best. I can be like everyone else and solely post photos like the one of the left to try to impress people, but why? I would only want to use my body to impress people because I’ve bought into diet culture. There’s nothing impressive about being able to twist and turn and suck in my tummy to get the “right angle.” Even just repositioning my phone can make me look smaller! I look like that for about 2 seconds before I start getting dizzy and uncomfortable. . With that said, be careful little eyes what you see on social media. The majority of what we are exposed to isn’t even real. Don’t let someone’s “best” get into your heart and your spirit.

Like one of those images: “Raise your hand when you see it,” diet culture is the kind of BS you can’t un-see! 👀🙋🏻‍♀️ ⠀ ⠀ It’s in the way you’re told your body is supposed to look, how you’re supposed to move, what you’re supposed to eat, when you’re supposed to be accepted, how you’re supposed to feel. And from the latest fad diet to the justification of self on the scale, it’s ❌ all ❌ BS ❌⠀ ⠀ I don’t know you, but I know that you are already enough. You don’t need the outside shoulds telling you how to exist, when you already have all that internal wisdom just waiting for a chance to peek out. The diet doesn’t bring you closer to who you are, it holds you back from living your most authentic life. Once you see it, going back seems pretty pointless. Raise your hand when you see it 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏽‍♂️🙋🏿‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏿‍♂️🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏼‍♂️🙋🏾‍♀️

Diesen Grieß "Traum" hatte ich vor ein paar Tagen zum Vor-Frühstück.. ich dachte anfangs noch, wie lecker er sei, doch je mehr ich davon aß umso mehr merkte ich, dass es mir im Endeffekt überhaupt nicht schmeckt. Werde ich also nie wieder kaufen, aber es war ein tolles Erlebnis für mich, überhaupt zu spüren, ob es mir schmeckt oder bekommt, oder eben nicht. Durch meine Essstörung habe ich so viel Müll gefühlt tonnenweise in mich rein geschaufelt ohne wirklich zu schmecken.. #intueat #intuitiveeating #intuitivabnehmen #intuitivessen #wohlfühlrevolution #wohlfühllifestyle #wohlfühlmensch #wohlfühlen #wohlfühlrevolution2019 #niewiederdiät #rausausderessstörung #recovery #edrecovery #essstörung #bingeeating #bingeeater #bingeeatingrecovery #bulimiarecovery #bulimie #mentalhealth #food #snack #edfighter #gesundwerden

I forgot to take a picture of my pizza that I had for lunch so here’s a video of me eating the last piece. I hope you praise it. I’m in for a positive post for my eating disordered bitches. Get fucking ready. 🌺🌺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Breakfast, morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner and night snack. It might seem like a lot of food if you’re currently depriving yourself from enough nutrients, but it isn’t much. You know what is much on the other hand? Eating less than you need and forcing your body to prioritize bodily functions to survive. Forcing your brain to work without energy (=food): THAT is much: of cruelty. 🍨 Consistency and regular-sized meals are key. If it’s difficult to eat a pizza on your own then start small. You will never get rid of your mental prison unless you push yourself to. It is not fucking worth it: and if you don’t believe me then start journaling and read through it in a couple of months. Trust. me. 🌺 Eat only on the occasions that I mentioned earlier to avoid binge-eating. 💗 Meals should take 15-20 minutes. Don’t rush and don’t take longer than half an hour. 🌸 A meal doesn’t count as a food intake if you compensate for it or purge. I know you tried hard just to leave your comfort zone , so don’t beat yourself up: tomorrow’s a new day!!! 🥳 I DON’T CARE if you have an activity planned during lunch. You. Shall. Not. Skip. Meals. Healthy people don’t skip meals. ❤️ Healthy people don’t obsess over calories or food intake. Healthy people don’t worry about whether or not the food is unhealthy , they eat what they want, what they need and what THEY FEEL LIKe EATINg. 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯 FOOD is supposed to be good. It isn’t only energy for you to exist. Calories is something you should enjoy, not fear. Calories. Calories. Calories. It isn’t that scary. Everyone needs it. Oxygen. Oxygen. Oxygen. Are you as scared? Hey. If you are letting someone shame you for eating then why are you near them? CUT THEM OUT OF YO LIFE,LOVE!!

Here are some things I help recovering women and moms work on in therapy: sleep, eating enough, not stuffing feelings with food, identifying emotions and needs, assertive communication, sleep, (did I mention sleep? It has profound effects on mood), being kind to yourself and others. A lot of it is not sexy (although sometimes sex is talked about in therapy😉). It’s more learning the slow, incremental micro movement process of change. And acceptance. Radical acceptance. All change comes from that place. #couragetochangethethingsyoucan

I’ve had a couple of long, busy days at work and top them off with having a hard week missing the hell out of Nathan who has been at his Dads, I have really felt the anxiety and stress creeping in. . Before now I would totally turn to self destruction mode. Comfort eating, binging, purging and generally feeling beaten down and angry at the world and would hate on myself for how it made me feel. A viscous cycle! Then I’d spend the next week or so trying to make up for the unhealthy week I had just had by picking some crazy diet shake to live on and going for a few half hearted gym sessions. . Then I chose to get off that rollercoaster. I found my tribe, who I can lean into when I need it and they are always there! I go sweat a bit, lift heavy shit and, thanks to personal development that I now do daily, I’ve learnt to use that shitty feeling to push myself harder and use my workouts as my therapy! It’s invigorating! All thanks to that small investment I made 7 months ago...Priceless! . And of course there’s my horse. He might be a cheeky git but he listens when I chat b*****ks to him and I appreciate that 😊 . Anyway, Nathan is back home tomorrow evening so my world will be complete again! But for tonight, a chat with the ginger beast and a workout is just what is needed!

Wisst ihr, eigentlich macht es mir total Spaß, gut zu mir zu sein. 🐣 . Achtsam mit mir umzugehen, gutes Essen kochen, ein knackige hiit, eine schöne Yogaeinheit, Räucherstäbchen, Kerzenlicht, spazieren gehen, auch ohne Musik. Nüchtern sein, ein Buch lesen oder selbst eines schreiben. Heiß duschen, etwas für die Schule tun. In Ruhe, ohne Stress. Eine Serie schauen, Tee trinken, neue Unterwäsche shoppen. Und das sind nur ein paar Dinge, die ich eigentlich so unglaubkich gerne mit mir und für mich tue. Nur ist es manchmal, als wäre da eine Seite in mir, die nur auf das Gegenteil aus ist 🧐 Ich denke, ich bin wieder auf einem gute Weg. Ich spüre mich selbst wieder und es fühlt sich gut und richtig an. 💞 Ich hoffe es bleibt so und wenn nicht, werde ich arbeiten. An mir, meinem Verhalten, werde aus jedem Rückfall lernen, bis eines Tages alles gut ist 🕉️ . Was tut ihr, wenn ihr euch etwas Gutes tun wollt? 😊💕 . . #vegan #vegansofig #veganrecipes #vegangermany #food #foodporn #plantbased #govegan #anorexia #bulimia #bulimie #essstörung #recovery #bulimiarecovery #anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #healthy #edfighter #edfamily #keepfighting #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #bodypositive #selflove #journey #blogger #peace #realrecovery #positive #leben

Tonight's dinner is my mum's vegetarian shepherd's pie. I'm really struggling tonight, the thought of eating makes me want to cry, despite feeling shaky. I had a mini freak out at the size of my mum's portion, but I have to trust her. Because I can't trust myself right now. I just feel out of control, but I need to remind myself that this is me taking control. I don't know what's wrong with me tonight but starving myself isn't the answer. Keep fighting lovelies, it'll be worth it in the end. 🌈🌠💖 #anorexiarecovery#recoverywarrior#prorecovery#realrecovery#beatinganorexia#bulimiarecovery#bodydysmorphia#depression#eatingdisorderrecovery#edwarrior#believeinyourself#eatingdisorderawareness#edrecovery#recoveryisworthit#nevergiveup#mentalhealth#selfacceptance#recoveryispossible#mentallillness#edfamily#gainingweightiscool#edcommunity#recovery#edfighter#anxiety#socialanxiety#bodydysmorphicdisorder#anarecovery#recoverywin

Do you want to improve your satisfaction with eating?  The key is to let go of judgment and approach your experience with a "curious mind". Mindful attention to appearance, smell, texture, taste and mouthfeel of foods can help create an "in the moment" awareness of your eating experience. What do you notice? #bodypositive #bopo #edwarrior #edrecovery #recovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #outpatientrecovery #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #bulimia #bulimiarecovery #ed #edfamily #edsupport #strength #beauty #recoverycommunity #fighter #support #bodypositivity #bodyacceptance #selflove #allfoodsfit #mindfuleating

As part of my recovery journey, I wanted to “ do recovery well” and not “f*ck it up” . . This meant in some ways- I wanted to recover perfectly. Hahaha . Control is funny right? . . Anyway, part of this meant a belief that if I ate foods that looked “healthy” it meant I was restricting. I didn’t have enough understanding of intuitive eating to realize it was okay if I wanted vegetables . . In fact, sometimes I would pick the higher caloric meal over something I actually wanted to prove to myself and others That I was recovered . . Sooo what does that all mean? Well- we are allowed to what whatever we want. It’s the intention and mindset behind it that we need to understand . . So, if you want a salad because your body is craving it- go for it! Enjoy it! If you want a salad as a punishment, it’s time to explore that . .

Just a quick update: Dinner was okay. I didn’t finish it. I feel feverish and nauseous, I was seconds away from running to the restaurant bathroom to erase it. But I didn’t. I didn’t have enough water to drink. It wasn’t super unhealthy but calorically dense and I’m freaking out. My birthday is in a couple months, I want to be down to my goal weight by then. That sounds so childish, doesn’t it? I also really need to get laid. When I was still dating my ex, I always used to demand sex when I was trying to avoid food. I wish I could still do that. Fuck someone. Get fucked. But at the same time, I’m so ashamed of my body, I’d probably kill myself right after lol. Can you believe I am a grown man in his mid twenties and just can’t seem to get a grip? I want to die. Like fade away. Erase my existence. #edrecovery #ed #recovery #eatingdisorder #ana #mia #bulimia #bulimic #bulimiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexia #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #healthy #healthylife #health #weightloss #fatloss #gym #workout #anarecovery #edwarrior #bed #bingeeating #binge #bingeeatingdisorder #bingeeatingdisorderrecovery #selfharmrecovery #trigger #tw


4 Hours Ago

Я выжила сессию 🖖🏻 Каждый день почти была дома одна, столько соблазнов и возможностей для срыва, казалось бы, но нет..вообще ни мысли, ни желания, ни-че-го! Полное равнодушие, я этого столько лет ждала... 😭 Теперь есть силы заниматься собой, вставать на ноги, начинать новую жизнь, в общем. Да в 26, а что поделать теперь? Время не вернуть уже... это был урок. Мощный, жесткий. Полезный? Может быть, не знаю. За что благодарна судьбе, так это за вторую половинку.🖤 Не болейте, пожалуйста! 💕 #булимияуходи #bulimiarecovery #bulimia #рппвосстановление #рпп #булимия #булимиярекавери

MOOD. I remember being in elementary like 10 watching teletubbies before school with my little sister. It was weird I was fixed on how happy they were. They played and ate and lived alone. Im bout it. I’m smokey wokey #teletubbies #fantasy #childhoodmemories #childhood #kidsshow #wino #winelover #vape #smokeweedeveryday #aliens #alien #asexual #bulimiarecovery #bulimia #yellowaesthetic #pastel #paleaesthetic #pale #adulthoodsucks #neet #hermit #depressionmemes #depression #ilivedbitch #ilived #suicidesurvivor

Hey hey Melissa’s back for a quick post 💁🏻‍♀️⠀ ⠀ One thing that’s been infuriating since giving birth is ALL the comments directed at me via friends, family, strangers about “getting my body back after pregnancy and delivery.” And my response is that I never lost my body so why do I need to get it back!? 🤔⠀ ⠀ There is so much pressure on EVERYONE, no matter if you’ve been pregnant or not to always look the same... and this is just ridiculous. Our bodies are meant to change and evolve over time. If we never changed and aged then we would be like Brad Pitt in the Curious Case of Benjamin Button. And we all know how well that turned out 🤯⠀ ⠀ Whether you are recovering from an injury, pregnancy, childbirth, just got back from vacation, going through a stressful time in your life, or no reason at all, you are allowed to have your body change! You do not, nor should your body look the same your entire life. Allow your body to look however it looks right now. It will thank you for it 💙

Today I wanted to share a little about my personal struggles with food and how I’ve come to be where I am. _ On the left I weighed 165lb (I’m 5’8),would eat whatever I wanted, and more often than not use food to cope with what was really going on. I suffered intense post traumatic stress disorder from a sexual assault a couple months before that picture. I was constantly looking thru my blinds in fear. _ The middle photo was 3.5 years ago during the end of a relationship and I weighed 125lbs. I was extremely restricting with my caloric intake and ate maybe once or twice a day. Subconsciously, I felt like if I couldn’t control what was happening in my life at least I could control what I ate to an unhealthy extent. _ The right is me now. I fluctuate between 138-145lbs. When I’m not competing I’m taking in well over 250g of carbs every day, only doing cardio 3x a week max and have never felt better. Not allowing what happens in life affect what’s on my plate was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. Life will never accommodate your goals so you have to put your goals first. No matter what you’ve been through or where you’re starting from, you can reach your health goals if its what you want. My story is why I started Renewed and Fit. There’s are so many of us that have had an unhealthy relationship with food and it can feel like we will never get out of that space. But you totally can and I can help get you there✨Link in bio

You ate a chocolate bar, you didn't murder someone. Guilt and food should have no connection😊 Eat that chocolate bar and move on with your day!

Stay focused on your goals your peace & your happiness Dont waste your time on anything that dosent contribute to your growth ❤

January 17th, on this day last year, I left five-month inpatient treatment. I am still on my journey, but I do know I’m not the same Hika as I was one year ago. Lots of ups and downs have been there after the discharge. Sometimes, “downs” have overwhelmed me so much, which has made it very challenging to get myself back on track. But the “ups” have enabled me to still keep going. I have learned a lot throughout the year. Let me share 3 of them with you🙌🏻 1: I can’t change people but I can change the way I see things. My mom still doesn’t understand what I’ve been going through and throws pretty hurtful comments to me. I had still tried to get understanding and support from her up until a few moths after the discharge, but she never changed. My efforts just made myself tired and miserable, so I quit doing it. Sounds very negative but I gave up on my mom, and just accepted that’s just who she was. I can’t change her super hardwired brain but I can see the situation as it is. I have people who really understand and embrace who I really am. And that’s so enough. This realization was very life changing to me and I’m so grateful for that I learned it. 2: I don’t need to smile and be always positive. I always hid my anxiety and struggle by putting a fake smile on my face, and pretended to be I was okay, labeling myself “always happy Hika.” But that made me completely forget how to genuinely smile. That was so scary. I let go of my past belief, “I need to be always positive,” and the “good vibes only” mantra. I accepted it’s okay not to be okay and to not force myself to be positive when I can’t. Now, I don’t smile when I really feel like it. When you see me smiling, that means I genuinely enjoy the time✨ 3: Recovery is the best decision I’ve ever made. Choosing recovery and being commuted to it have enabled me to be willing to dive into the fears and get myself stronger and grow. Recovery also brought me amazing people who I can really feel comfortable and safe to be with, and I really appreciate it. Recovery looks very challenging sometimes but the liberation it brought to me is indescribably amazing. Recovery is worth it. Thank you for listening🙏🏻✨

day 2 // scrivo di ieri e oggi, con dolori atroci e voglia di espiantarmi le ovaie. Connessioni immediate vogliono che mi odi, che ricordi con nostalgia qualche mese fa, più magra, con finalmente il ciclo mestruale regolare. E poi focalizzarmi, sentire questo dolore e subire la punizione per ciò che non sono stata in grado di mantenere: un’alimentazione sana e la costante attività fisica. Ma io voglio diventare la mia migliore amica. E alla mia migliore amica, o anche solo un’amica, di certo non direi “adesso zitta e soffri, te lo meriti!”. L’abbraccerei, le direi che però adesso sta ricominciando, che ci sono io ad aiutarla, che qualche altro mese e poi tutto tornerà come prima, anzi, meglio. Perché adesso sa tante cose in più, è più esperta e coscienziosa e, soprattutto, ha me. Sí, voglio stare al mio fianco sempre e comunque. _____________________________

You are an amazing person for just surviving what you have so far in life!!😘