In honor of sweet Conor, the staff delivered pizzas to the volunteers at the Orange Fire Department and to the men and women of the Orange Police Department. It is an honor to spread kindness for Conor and hope you will join us this week as we continue to participate in acts of kindness for Conor. #kissesforconor #kindnessforconor #sudcawareness #actsofkindness
Today the first graders wrote their messages of positivity for their act of kindness today . Not only did they make random cards for strangers but they made cards for me! It definitely brightened my day 😊❤️ . We placed the cards on the windshields again and this time Remie wanted to hand them to people already inside the car. This man came out of his truck and gave Remie a hug and thanked her ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ #kissesforconor #sudcawareness
After the amazing success of last year we are delighted to ask you once again to join Oliver’s Army for our 2nd ‘Marathon in a Month’ challenge this November! In support of SUDC UK and to celebrate Oliver’s 6th birthday on November 30th we are challenging you to complete 26.2 miles of running, jogging or walking over the month! Please let us know if you will take up the challenge, spread the word on social media using #runningforoliver and keep us posted on your progress! With your help we hope to raise much needed funds for this amazing charity. Once you complete the task and post your miles on Facebook or Instagram we will send you a link and would like to ask for a donation of £20 to SUDC UK. You will then be sent one of the amazing medals we have designed to celebrate your awesomeness for all time! SUDC UK is a charity dedicated to increasing awareness and understanding of Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood (SUDC). It also funds research to better understand and prevent these tragedies. The sudden unexplained death of a child is one of the most under-recognised medical tragedies of our time. . . #oliversarmy #oliverswish #runningforoliver #marathoninamonth #charity #charityrun #charitywalk #sudc #sudcuk #sudchallenge2019 #sudcawareness #childloss #memorywalk #memoryrun #runchallenge #walkchallenge
Thank you SO MUCH to everyone that grabbed a #kissesforconor card on their way out of class. We've had to print more this year than any other year and our hearts couldn't be any fuller! We appreciate you taking the time to celebrate Conor's life and honor him with us. 💙 Please share your random #actsofkindness this week! We'll be sharing our own very soon. 💙 #sudcawareness
My beautiful boy about a month before he passed away. It feels impossible that Oct.25 will be 3 years without him. He touched so many lives in his 17 months of life and I know he continues to. When Tessa was upset Conor was the first to comfort her without prompting. Even though he was younger, when she was upset and we would go to comfort her she would say I need my Conor. We always talked about how we knew he would be the kid to be looking out for others. That is why we knew Kindness for Conor was the best way to honor his memory. Join us in honoring Conor’s memory and spreading kindness this week. Links to print kindness cards in linktree in profile. Share with #kissesforconor #sudcawareness
To kick off our Kisses for Conor Kindness week we put together some Halloween buckets and care bags for children at Yale Hospital and their parents. We love the thought of all these children smiling because of Conor. Join us this week in celebrating Conor’s life. October 25 will be 3 years without Conor and we will be delivering these on the 25th. #kissesforconor #sudcawareness (Click on link in linktree in profile to print Conor cards and flyers)
This is our friend, Conor, who was always smiling and always blowing kisses. 💕 This week marks the 3rd anniversary of his passing, and in honor of the happiness he brought to this world in his short 17 months of life, we're participating in acts of kindness in his memory. Pick up a Conor Kindness card the next time you're in the gym and leave it with your act of kindness. Also, be sure to share on your social media with #kissesforconor #sudcawareness. ❤ Here are some of his family's suggestions: Buy coffee for the person behind you in line, leave a children's book at a park or in a store for someone to find, bake for a neighbor, send someone a kind note or donate clothes. It does not need to be big or cost any money; it just needs to be kind! ⭐ #passiton #mygymisfamily
Thank you to First Lady Tammy Murphy and her staff for inviting me to an important leadership summit this morning in Princeton at the Governor’s mansion. I was honored to be there today. The invitation allowed me to meet and speak with the First Lady about Vienna‘s story and SUDC. It was an enlightening meeting! I met several other wonderful people who are also ready to create change for the better. I distributed Vienna’s picture along with information about SUDC and the acoustic guitar music CD, “Songs for Vienna” (THANK YOU mr.RAY). Everyone who received a CD was excited to listen to “I Think About You (Song for Vienna)”. Some of them lost kids themselves :(. #makingwaves4viennaandsudc #firstlady #governorsmansion #princeton #teamvienna #teamvienna4sudcawareness #sudcawareness #sudceducation #3vskeepmegoing #mrray
Savannah Clifford, almost 2, of Spokane, Washington passed away on June 10, 2019 after she went to sleep and never woke up. Savannah passed away just few days before her 2nd birthday. Her death was labeled as SUDC - sudden unexplained death in childhood, in children over the age of 1 through 18 years old. SUDC remained unexplained after a thorough investigation, including an autopsy. My thoughts and condolences go out to her loved ones. #memoryofangels #gonetoosoon #rip #loved #missed #youaremissed #gonebutneverforgotten #neverforgotten #sudcawareness #sudcsucks #suddendeath
Starting our week of kindness early by dropping off stickers and pencils to the library along with a stack of kindness cards and our flyer to encourage others to participate! The library holds special memories for us. We started going weekly when Conor was a baby and continued up until the week before he passed away. He loved Toddler Time especially singing “The Wheels on the Bus.” Thank you @milfordpubliclibrary for always helping us honor Conor’s memory and participating in promoting our acts of kindness year round! You can find links to print kindness cards and flyers in linktree in my profile and don’t forget to post on our facebook page or tag me and #sudcawareness #kissesforconor
A day late but lighting a candle to honor Cairo Desmond Brown and all children gone too soon due to pregnancy loss, still birth, and infant loss. You existed and your life matters. #waveoflight2019 #waveoflight #childlossawareness #childloss #gonetoosoon #sudcawareness #bereavedparents @stillstandingmag
Thank you to all our registered SUDC UK families and supporters for helping us to raise funds for research this year. We are in the final end of year push to raise £50,000 and we're almost there... Can you help us reach our target? If we can support you in any way, please let us know. Here is a link to our new fundraising merchandise form https://sudc.org.uk/b…/order-forms-for-fundraising-supplies/ We are so grateful for everyone's committed support as we strive for a future where Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood is predictable and preventable. #sudcuk #sudcawareness #sudcambassadors #sudcfoundation #childloss #goodgrief #goodgrieftrust #sudceducation #childbereavement #openuptogrief #volunteer #volunteerspirit #strongertogether #pregnancyandinfantlossawareness #blaw2019
Thomas “Slade” Dozier Jr., 18 months, of Mount Pleasant, South Carolina passed away on April 25, 2015 in his sleep. Slade’s mother, Laura Dozier, took her twins up to Murrells Inlet one April weekend to visit her parents. Her husband, Tom, a local doctor, was on call in Charleston. She figured she could use extra help with the toddlers while he was working. She went with the children strawberry picking and captured videos of them playing. They seemed happy, healthy, normal. But when her daughter Sanders woke up crying in the middle of the night, Laura discovered that her son Slade wasn’t breathing and moving. Laura, a nurse anesthetist, performed CPR, but she knew Slade was gone. It was shortly after 3 a.m. Slade’s cause of death was officially marked sudden unexplained death in childhood, or SUDC. The SUDC Foundation estimates the diagnosis is the fifth-leading cause of death among toddlers in the U.S. SUDC differs from sudden infant death syndrome because SIDS only pertains to babies less than a year old who passes inexplicably, often in their sleep. SUDC, on the other hand, may be used to describe unexplained death among toddlers, children or teenagers. Laura and Tom Dozier established the Slade Dozier Foundation to raise money and awareness about SUDC. #memoryofangels #gonetoosoon #rip #loved #missed #youaremissed #gonebutneverforgotten #neverforgotten #sudcawareness #sudcsucks #suddendeath
The wave of light is an opportunity to join with bereaved parents and families around the world to remember all babies and children who tragically died too soon. Please join us at 7pm on Tuesday 15th October by lighting your candle and leaving it to flicker brightly for an hour. This year you can light a virtual candle at www.waveoflight.muchloved.com and it will burn brightly until next BLAW 2020. #sudcuk #sudcawareness #sudcambassadors #sudcfoundation #childloss #goodgrief #goodgrieftrust #sudceducation #childbereavement #openuptogrief #volunteer #volunteerspirit #strongertogether #pregnancyandinfantlossawareness #blaw2019 #lullabytrust
Taken only weeks before we tragically lost you. Look at you, with your cheeky smile, beautiful eyes and long eyelashes. How could this cheeky, happy little boy be here one day and gone the next... how can that happen? 💔 • #babylossawarenessweek has really hit hard with me this week, as I look after our newborn baby twin boys. I’ve read so many heart breaking stories of loss and strength. So many brave bereaved parents #breakingthesilence of loosing a child. 😢 • We are 18 months into our journey and recently I’ve been struggling. I cannot stop thinking about the day we lost Harry and how little time I was given with him in hospital. Harry was taken into A&E and everything was happening so fast around us. I remember being there, I remember seeing everything all the doctors were trying to do to save him... • Then that was it...the noise, the panic, the crowds of people started to fall away and it was just Lee, me and Harry with a single nurse. We held him, took it in turns to hold him so close, but I couldn’t grasp the enormity of what had just happened. I couldn’t cry 😢 I couldn’t scream, I couldn’t do anything... After a few hours we were asked to speak with the police, coroner and social services. Something that hadn’t even crossed our minds. We went into a little room and that was that... we stayed there and there must have been a shift change of doctors/nurses, as they didn’t even realise we were still sat in that tiny little room. I asked “Where is Harry?” And they said he’d been taken away... We never got to say goodbye properly, We didn’t know he was being moved, We had no say in anything. They stole that precious time away from Lee and I to be with him. My parents and sister were on their way to us and expected to be able to see Harry, but he’d gone... • I feel so angry and hurt now that no one helped us in those early hours, that no one even knew we were still in the hospital. No one asked us, as Harry’s parents what we wanted to happen. I’ve since read stories of parents being offered special cold rooms and cold cots to give them that special time with their babies. To say goodbye, to process and cry... 😭 Why were we not given that time? Where was t
Nov 12, 2019 will be 2 years without my sweet Vienna. Her hot pink supergirl costume was her last Halloween costume and the last outfit she wore on earth. TeamViennaSUDC.org #missingpeepa #cantbelieveshesgone #dailynightmare #teamwundervino #thewundervino5forever #alwaysamommyof3 #teamvienna4sudcawareness #sudcawareness #3vskeepmegoing #suddenunexplaineddeathinchildhood #sportsdoconamission #omed19 #omed2019 #usavolleyballteamphysician
We treat grief like a disease. Get through it as fast as possible, and you better keep busy so you don't get too sad. Maybe you should just move on and don't think about it anymore? They wouldn't want you to miss them. Umm... Your child died. And you miss them. It's okay to be sad. The feelings that come with grief are incredibly intense. For me, they were very foreign. I didn't know what to do with them. We each can find ways to support and take extra care of ourselves in a heavy period of grief. Grief needs to be cared for, acknowledged, tended to. It will not go away, and no amount of ignoring, numbing, it medicating will make it disappear. Grief has a purpose, it has a reason. And its there because you love someone so deeply who you can no longer give love to here on this Earth. Grief is not a disease, but a normal response to the death of someone you love very much. You are not broken, not crazy, and not losing it. You are grieving, and you're going to be okay ♥️
I am a fun and patient mother. I write this down every day. Fun. Patient. Two things I've longed to be, and struggled with since Aria died. Maybe longer, who knows. With grief, all the fun and any little patience I had was sucked right out of me. Over time they became a habit. A way of being. I had a hard time being silly with my kids and having fun with them. I yelled and lost my patience and had to apologize more times than I care to admit. I still do, it's always a work in progress. It's never too late to work on adding fun or patience back into your life. It's never too late to be intentional with whatever qualities you want to work on. It's never too late to work at being the mom you want to be to your kids. So, I write this down every day. And with other things I've worked on as well, I've found more patience. I've found ways to be silly with my kids and dig deep down into me to find that fun that I want to be. It's never too late for you either.(double-tap if you want to work at being a better mother/human being too)
When Conor died I thought about all the places I wish we had taken him. Then I see this video and remember how happy he was in the simplest moments. Help us celebrate Conor’s life by doing acts of kindness in his memory and wearing your Conor shirt the week of October 19-27th. Tag us and post with #sudcawareness #kissesforconor You can order shirts any time but order by midnight tonight to get them in time. Link to order shirts and print kindness cards in linktree in my profile.
18 months today that you were taken from us, I miss you every second of every day. You are never more than a moment from my thoughts, even more so when I look at your new baby brothers who look so much like you. 💔⭐️ • I would never in a million years have thought we would ever loose you and I miss that innocence of being a Mummy. Now I look at Charlie abd Jack and find it almost impossible to dream of the future with them...I’m terrified of believing that they are here to stay. 😢 • 18 months ago...life changed forever...I changed forever 💔😭 • • • • • • #harryboboslegacy #missyou #grieving #timegoestoofast #whyyou #babyloss #childloss #sudcawareness #sudc #sudcuk #mybabyboy #grievingmummy #foreverinmyheart #heartbrocken #18monthsago #time #childbereavementuk #terrifiedtobealive #lifeissounfair #sayhisname #harry #surrey #northyorkshire #easingwold
You are not broken. You are not stuck. There is hope. Trauma can take away your ability to function in the way that you have in the past. It can put your life on hold in a way that feels really unfair. Here's one thing I know. I have healed from my PTSD. I have found a way to live and love and function every day. Is every day perfect? No. But, other people say you cannot heal. Once you have PTSD you are stuck for life with it. THIS. IS. NOT. TRUE!!!! I know because I've lived it. I know what my life was and what it is now. And our brains are so powerful, that if you believe it's not possible to get better, you will not get better. But if you keep reaching for tools and you know that this trauma can be healed, you can heal. PTSD is hard. I have so much compassion for anyone with it, because it's invisible to most people, but it's an injury just like a broken arm. And it can be taken care of and healed. But here's a few things I know. -you have to want to get better and seek help -you have to do the work -you have to work so hard it's exhausting -find your why. This girl and my family were my why. I forced myself to face the painful parts so that my quality of life would hopefully change. And it did. Every time I went to therapy I set little goals. - first, I wanted to be able to leave Brilynn sleeping by herself without panicking and checking on her for 5 min. - Then I wanted to be about to leave her for 10 min, then 20. -Then I wanted to be able to let the kids sleep all night without having to check on them. -Then I wanted to be able to stay home by myself if Justin had to leave overnight for work. Setting these little goals helped me keep going. Setting these goals helped me work towards something, and pretty soon I found myself where I am today. I can stay home by myself. I rarely check on my baby for naps. My kids can sleep all night without me shaking them awake in a panic. I don't have to check on Justin all night long. I still have worries and fears, but nothing like it was before. I promise, you can get better. You got this, and remember you are broken ❤️
Throwback Thursday to this past Sunday at the #asburyparkfallbazaar and all of our great friends who stopped by to show support! Always good to see these friendly faces! 💙#tbt #throwback #friends #teamvienna #teamvienna4sudcawareness #sudcawareness
Our gorgeous boys... milk drunk! #specialmoments to treasure forever. I can’t tell you how much I love my cuddles with Charlie and Jack. 💙💙 • When we lost Harry, the pain engulfed me, mentally and physically I was in so much pain, it hurt so intensely, made me shake, have panic attacks and literally freeze my body. Sometimes I didn’t know how to even move. What I have come to understand is that it was the physical touch that I longed for and missed so much. I look at Harry in a photo or video and I can feel him, I can remember how he felt to hold, how heavy he was to pick up, his soft hair on my face, his cheeky little ‘snogs’ that he gave me! I missed that nurturing touch that I think only myself as his mummy truly felt, because I carried him for 9 months, gave birth to him and breastfed him for 19 months. That touch and intimacy had gone... ripped away from me so suddenly that the shock of not having him in my arms anymore was too much to endure. I honestly didn’t think my body could survive loosing my baby boy. 💔😢 • I will always long for that physical touch with Harry, it will never leave me. But, look at this photo again...and how incredibly lucky and blessed I am to have the chance to cuddle two more little boys, to hold them, breastfeed them, nurture them and be their Mummy. You honestly will not know how much having these little boys in my life means and how they are helping to heal my heart a little each day. Thank you Harry, for everything you have given me and for making me realise how important these incredible moments are in life. ⭐️💙 • • • • • • • #mummycuddles #enjoyingeverysecond #blessed
October is child, pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. October 25 will also mark 3 years for us since Conor passed away. It seems impossible that it has been that long. As we have in the past, we will be asking people to honor Conor’s life by doing acts of kindness in his name and handing out Conor cards (link in linktree in instagram profile) and share with us by posting with #kissesforconor #sudcawareness and on Facebook.com/kissesforconor. We will also be relaunching our Kisses for Conor shirts later this week and would love to see people posting pictures wearing your shirts on October 25. Thank you to everyone who remembers Conor with us, even if you never had the honor of meeting him. It means more to us than we could ever express.
October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. The death of a child at any age is profoundly painful. Remembering our children openly is healthy and an important part of the grieving process for parents, siblings and the wider family and community. Please start a conversation, open up to grief and remember a grieving parent just wants to keep their child's memory present. • • • • • • #harryboboslegacy #sudcuk #sudcawareness #sudcambassadors #sudcfoundation #childloss #goodgrief #goodgrieftrust #sudceducation #childbereavement #openuptogrief #fundraising #loveandloss #grievingmother #heartbroken #strongertogether #pregnancyandinfantlossawareness
Do you write? Or so you worry that someone might someday see what you wrote so you don't dare put it into words? 😬 This month in The Grieving Moms Haven we are writing. Using writing as a way to process your pain is so powerful. Getting the thoughts out of your head and onto paper. Anyone elses thoughts ruminate and magnify the longer they stay in their head? I know mine do. So here's a few quick journaling tips for you: -before you begin writing, notice The emotions you are feeling and write them down. -at the end of your writing, write down one thing you are grateful for today. -after you are all finished, notice what emotions you are feeling now and write those down. This helps you become in tune with what you are feeling and thinking. I really crave getting my thoughts out of my head now days. So tell me, are you a writer like me?🙋🙋🙋
Some days I just want to crawl into my skin but #hellooctober #untilwemeetagain #cairoforever 🦋💙💙💙#octoberchildlossawarenessmonth #childlossawareness #childloss #childlossawarnessmonth💕 #grievingmother #grievingfather #bereavedmother #bereavedparents #sudcawareness
October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness week. The death of a child at any age is profoundly painful. Remembering our children openly is healthy and an important part of the grieving process for parents, siblings, and the wider family and community . Please start a conversation, open up to Grief and remember a grieving parent just wants to keep their child’s memory present. #sudcuk #sudcawareness #sudcambassadors #sudcfoundation #childloss #goodgrief #thegoodgrieftrust #sudceducation #childbereavement #openuptogrief #volunteer #volunteerspirit #strongertogether #pregnancyandinfantlossawareness #blaw2019 #saytheirnamechallenge
Another successful medical lecture presented-- this time to Family Medicine residents and attending physicians at Ocean Medical Center in Brick, NJ, on Sept 25, 2019, entitled: Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood (SUDC): A Personal Tragedy. Thank you so much for inviting me to speak. I was honored to be there to share Vienna's story, education/research about SUDC, and pearls on how to support the family... in hopes that ultimately other families can be spared our tragedy. I was very impressed with the thoughtful and intelligent questions that were asked by the residents. We had an extremely open and honest discussion about challenging topics and how they may relate to SUDC. It was fantastic! IMPORTANT NOTE: The Powerpoint slide above from my medical lecture was created/presented (with my tears) with love, with the permission of all the brave Moms of these beautiful kids gone too soon. Thank you for sharing your story with me and allowing me to honor your kids in this way. #allsudckidsareimportant #makingwaves4viennaandsudc #sudc #sudcawareness #teamvienna4sudcawareness #missingpeepa #3vskeepmegoing #iwantanswers #powerinnumbers
Great job Lauren Farrell of Lauren Farrell NY, at the Asbury Park Bazaar today (Asbury Park, NJ)! Beautiful display of your gorgeous designer handbags—especially of the Vienna Collection ❤️👼🌈🦋 Thank you always for your support of our 501c3 nonprofit Team Vienna 4 SUDC Awareness and helping us spread the word of SUDC and Vienna’s story. You are very special to our family ❤️ #sudcawareness #theviennacollection #lfny #sudc #makingwaves4viennaandsudc #missingpeepa #fashionwithacause #thankyoulauren
Holmdel, NJ- I took this picture 9 days before Vienna died. She was 2 years, 9 months, 3 weeks old— 2 months later she would have turned 3 years old. Then on Nov 12, 2017, my healthy daughter fell asleep while watching TV with her big sister and brother at home in NJ. They were there. They saw it happen. Mike and I were driving home from a wedding at 6.45pm; then at 7.02pm, we received the horrible, frantic phone call from our babysitter. 8.05pm- the unthinkable. Devastating is an understatement. It will be 2 years without our darling Vienna. Never heard of SUDC- Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood- until Nov 13, from Vienna’s medical examiner. Honestly, I’m still in disbelief that she is actually gone from this earth physically forever. I see signs from her every now and then, but I still ask her every day to present herself in a dream to all of us that we remember after waking up. Most important one I ask of her: that her big sister has a dream of giving her a piggy back ride 😥 So many things we will never get to do with you Peepa. The sadness of your siblings weighs greater on me like huge boulders than my own. We all wish you could just come home. #sudcawareness #suddenunexplaineddeathinchildhood #teamvienna4sudcawareness #iwantanswers #siblinglove #missingpeepa #3vskeepmegoing
Great job Lauren Farrell of Lauren Farrell NY, at the Asbury Park Bazaar today! Beautiful display of your gorgeous designer handbags—especially of the Vienna Collection ❤️👼🌈🦋 Thank you always for your support of our nonprofit Team Vienna 4 SUDC Awareness and helping us spread the word of SUDC and Vienna’s story. You are very special to our family ❤️#viennaslegacy #sudcawareness #lfny #laurenfarrellny #asburyparkbazaar #teamvienna4sudcawareness #viennacollection #suddenunexplaineddeathinchildhood #missingpeepa #v3 #thevienna
How many kids do you have? The dreaded question after you lose a child. There are so many ways to answer this question, and so many things that can pull at your heart. I would have never thought about it before Aria died. That this question of how many kids you have is such a terrible question to answer when you lose a child. I had no idea that such an innocent question can bring up such anguish. When Aria first died, I was determined to tell everyone that I had 4 children(that was including Aria) but one of them had died. For a long time, that was my answer. I told everyone who asked that my daughter died. When Justin responded to people, he usually said 3 children. I couldn’t fathom why he would say that! If I didn’t mention her to a stranger, then I felt like I was betraying Aria and her life. I felt like by not mentioning her, I was somehow deleting her from our family. I do not have a picture of our whole family. I need to cobble together a few pictures together to get everyone in. How do you answer this question?
#onthisday 9/26/16 Cairo was giving me attitude per usual lol. I swear all my boys act the same in one way or another but yet so different. Chyace was the chillest out of all three. Chanan I think can give Cairo a run for his money lol. 🦋💙💙💙 #cairoforever #childlossawareness #childloss #childlosssupport #sudcawareness #grief #bereavement #bereavedmother
The thoughts we think over and over again are what creates our world. If we start to pay attention to our thoughts we can start to notice and be a little gentler with ourselves. I have had very negative self talk my whole life. I've started paying attention, noticing and trying to be a little kinder, both in grief and day to day life. . "I am stupid"---> "I'm human and I make mistakes" . "I should be better by now"----> "I don't have to be anywhere right now, I'm doing the best I can" . "I should have checked on Aria that night when she cried" ---> "I didn't know Aria was going to die, and I didn't do anything different than I've ever done with my other kids". . "I am broken and my life is over"----> "I have experienced a tremendous loss and trauma, and I'm going to be gentle with myself during this time". . The thoughts we think are what we believe about ourselves and the possibilities in our lives. Notice and be gentle with yourself. You are worthy, and you are stronger than you think. Thanks @msrachelhollis and @mrdavehollis for this idea of doing affirmations with Brilynn!
These babies came after Aria. When Brilynn was born, I was in a place of extreme stress and my PTSD and grief at the forefront. I didn't feel like I could be the mother I wanted to be to my children. I wanted to be present with them, and laugh with them again. Though I didn't know how. I wanted them to know that I still loved them even though Aria died. I didn't want my life to be over, even though I wondered how it could not be over. So I did the work. I did the grief work. The hard, messy, ugly, and painful grief work. I said no to everything that I couldn't summon the energy for, and I spent hours in therapy, writing, moving, in silence, processing, grieving. When grief came, I let it in. When laughter came I let it in. This grief work happens still. I still need to do the work, because grief is always with me. Only now, I have more space between the heaviness, and I have more space to be the mother I want to be. Am I perfect? No, I'm trying every day to be a better mother, but I've realized that my grief needs to be cared for in order to show up as the Mom I want to be for my children. What about you sweet Mama? What do you want? If you want to do the grief work as well, there's room in The Grieving Moms Haven but not for long! The doors are closing tonight at midnight and will not reopen for a while! You can join through the link in my profile! Remember, you are the only one who can make the time for yourself to grieve. ♥️
I'm standing in a precipice, trying so hard to hold myself together. Mainly, I'm scared. I'm terrified actually, that if I let go, if I let myself cry I will fall down this dark deep hole and never come back. I'm lost, who I am is gone. I don't know what to do or how to find myself again. Everyday it's all I can do to survive. Do you feel this way Mama? When your child dies it can bring so many terrifying emotions and changes to your life that you have never experienced before. So often, it feels like if we even start to grieve or jump in the hole we will never come out again. I believe you can find yourself, and you will come out. Especially with support, community and tools to grieve. In The Grieving Moms Haven, you will get support in a community of other grieving mothers who understand. You will also get meditations, journaling, movement, thought work, and other tools to help you take bite sized pieces of that looming hole. You do not need to fall into the hole and never come out, rather you can go slow, and allow yourself to grieve. And grieve in the way that's right for you. Come join The Grieving Moms Haven! The doors are closing very soon, and won't be open again for a while so I can work closely with you when you join! You can save your spot through the link in my profile ❤️
Last vanity/pregnancy shot ever. 38 weeks today and will be induced in the next day or two. It’s been 14 months without my darling Red, and though I can’t deny that part of me is terrified to be putting my heart on the line again, I continue to remind myself that parenting is an act of bravery. It’s been the saddest state to be a childless mother, and I’m so grateful to everyone who has respected that I haven’t stopped identifying as a mother, and that Red will always be alive and well in our hearts. Our memories of him always shine brightly. Wish us luck with the beginning of our new chapter! #38weekspregnantwithtwins #sudcawareness #type1diabeticpregnancy
#funfact I took Chayce and Cairo to the Nolanville Jamboree on Saturday 9/16/17. Met up with my old co-worker Sherri and her kids. Cairo was published in the #killeendailyherald the next day. The boys had a lot fun that day! Some days are better than most. This day is considered a good day. Usually a good day is your just numb to the pain. #forevermissingyou #cairoforever #childlossawareness #childloss #childlosssurvivor #sudcawareness #imissyou #wemissyou #iloveyou #weloveyou #untilwemeetagain
How can you even describe this to anyone else? How can you describe what it's like to bury your child, and leave them there. How can you describe the ache and the pain to hold them again? The reality that you will never see your child again? How can you describe the wails and the crying that has such a depth and pain to it? It cannot be described. It is so difficult to explain to others, because it's impossible to understand unless you have experienced it yourself. Being in a place with other grieving moms, in community, gives you a sense of being seen and understand. The understanding you wouldn't wish on anyone, but are glad there are others who get it. The Grieving Moms Haven is open, but just for a few people, so if you are a grieving mother, come join us. This is a place for you to be yourself, and explore your grief. This is a place to take some time for yourself, so you can grieve in the way you want to. So many of us put everyone else first and ignore our own grief. You matter and your grief matters. You can join The Grieving Moms Haven through the link in my profile!
I am honored to have been chosen to speak at the OMED National Medical Conference for physicians in Baltimore, Maryland, on SUNDAY, OCTOBER 27, at 10.30am. If you are local, I would love to see you there. It will be a TED-style talk about Vienna and SUDC (Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood). This conference will be attended by thousands of physicians from 14 different specialties. What an amazing opportunity to educate at this level! I am humbled, but ready to continue to make waves for Vienna and SUDC. #omed19 #sudcawareness #teamvienna4sudcawareness #makingwaves4viennaandsudc #suddenunexplaineddeathinchildhood #sudceducation #viennaslegacy #allsudckidsmatter
In this week's edition of "SUDC Insights," we would like to introduce you to one member of our amazing staff, Elizabeth (Liz) Milliken, the SUDC Foundation’s Director of Development. Click the link in our bio to learn about Liz!
Please mark your calendar for Saturday, May 16, 2020, the 3rd annual Vienna‘s Day of International SUDC (Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood) Awareness! For those who want to join us, Team Vienna is supporting Mary’s Place by the Sea’s annual 5K walk/run, in Ocean Grove, New Jersey. This will be a walk/run on the boardwalk— what I originally envisioned Vienna’s Day to be like. There will also be a Team Vienna awareness/education table. Can’t wait to see all the pictures come in again from around the world, of everyone remembering my darling Vienna while they are active/volunteering/etc, wherever you are in the world that day! Truly is a very special, amazing day. The Team Vienna Movement has been extremely successful because of all of you!!! Thank You! #sudc #sudcawareness #teamvienna #teamvienna4sudcawareness #missingpeepa #marysplacebythesea #mustkeepgoing #viennasdayofinternationalsudcawareness #nonprofit #thankyou #makingwaves4viennaandsudc
The first time I went to Costco and her spot was empty. The first time I saw her clothes cleaned and ready to be worn, but never to be worn again. The first time we went out as a family of 4 instead of a family of 5. The first time I drove by her physical therapy place that I had been taking her weekly. The first time I heard crying in the bedroom and I realized I was imagining it. So many firsts, and now so many lasts too. The big empty hole that is her place is still here and it always will be.
9/15/16 #onthisday Three years ago- Miss you baby in two months you would had been 4 years old. This will be your second heavenly birthday coming up. I always imagine you and your brothers driving me nuts. I wouldn't have it any other way. We miss you Cairo. 🦋💙💙💙 #cairoforever #childlossawareness #sudcawareness #gonebutnotforgotten #missyou #untilwemeetagain #untiloursoulsmeetagain #parentingafterloss #childloss #childlosssupport #childlosssurvivor
Thank you to RELATIVE PITCH RECORDS for their support of Team Vienna and SUDC! Our websites are listed on their charities page. The music they highlight is very eclectic and unique- like I’ve never heard before- very interesting... definitely worth a listen! Kevin Reilly (co-founder of RPR) sent me a bunch of CDs of various artists from his record label shortly after Vienna died. His very kind and thoughtful gesture helped me through some tough early days. Music has truly made a huge positive impact on me as I navigate my life-long grief journey. Relative Pitch Records is a NYC based independent record label founded by Mike Panico and Kevin Reilly in 2011. RPR's roster mainly specializes in Avant-Garde Jazz, Free Jazz, and Free Improvisation music from artists across the US. http://relativepitchrecords.com/charities.html. #teamvienna4sudcawareness #sudcawareness #relativepitchrecords #missingpeepa #3vskeepmegoing #usavolleyballteamphysician #usavolleyball #rpr
In case you were wondering, yes, I’m STILL pregnant. 37 weeks tomorrow which is officially “full term” 😊. In the meantime, here is Red blossoming into a full fledged boy, all about BIG TRUCKS. Nope, never going to stop posting about my angel❤️ #sudcawareness
Thank you August fundraisers! We are so grateful for the continued support in memory of your beloved children. Thank you to the Fitzgerald family for participating in the 3rd annual Checking for Charity in Voorhees, NJ. Congratulations on 7th place..the best year yet! We appreciate your continued support in memory of Mary Ann. Thank you to the Larsen family for hosting the 1st Butterflies for Brooklyn walk/run during the Milroy Funfest in Milroy, MN! We so appreciate your support in memory of Brooklyn. Thank you to the Pauley family for hosting the 2nd Annual Scramble for Scarlett Golf Outing in Bridgeville, PA! 234 participants came out to support the SUDC Foundation's mission in remembrance of Scarlett. Thank you to the Melville family for hosting the 3rd annual Nate's Great Ride in London, Ontario! We so appreciate their dedication and the continued support of the Ontario community! Thank you to the Drew's Tunes Foundation and the Boswell family for hosting the 6th annual Drew's Tunes Bowl-a-Thon in New Orleans, LA! A wonderful time was had by all and we appreciate the continued support in memory of Drew. Thank you to Team Wesley and the Racine family for hosting the 2nd annual Team Wesley 5K Virtual Run/Walk! Participants from across the United States and 12 different countries, spanning 4 continents, joined together to make this event a huge success!
Thank you, @eshamroth and Declan McGuone for speaking today at Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center Pediatrics Grand Rounds as a part of our Medical Education Initiative to raise medical awareness of SUDC.
Honored to be presenting at Dartmouth Pediatric Grand Rounds tomorrow at 8 am on Sudden Unexplained Death In Childhood with Declan McGuone, Neuropathologist and SUDC researcher. Click on link tree in bio for link to watch #sudcawareness
There should be 3..... TEAM VIENNA supports STEPHY’S PLACE- Walk with us THIS SUNDAY, Sept 15, on the beautiful Long Branch boardwalk, NJ, as we honor our Vienna and other loved ones— raising funds for Stephy’s Place (501(c)(3) nonprofit, in Red Bank, NJ) - a healing place for grief and loss. Begins at 6:45 AM with a short meditation and butterfly release, then a 3 mile leisure walk, and ending by 8:45 AM. I am grateful for the people and services of Stephy’s Place. Register or donate here: https://www.wizathon.com/a-mourning-walk/?p=display&action=team_Page&id=5917 #teamvienna #sudcawareness #suddenunexplaineddeathinchildhood #teamvienna4sudcawareness #stephysplace #longbranch #missingpeepa #3vskeepmegoing
Back to school is such a difficult time for families affected by SUDC. For families with grieving siblings, parents and other influential adults, including their teachers, must be empowered to appropriately assist a child in dealing with the aftermath. We've developed "When a Student Loses a Sibling: A Toolkit for Schools" for parents to share with teachers and school administrators. The toolkit is divided into two main sections: 1) specific information on SUDC and the impact on surviving siblings and 2) general grief information for coping with any loss a student may experience. We've also created a sample letter that you can fill out and give to your child's teachers or administrators that informs them and directs them where to find the toolkit. Click the link in our bio to access our Grief Resources for Siblings page on our website and select "Sample letter for your child's school" and "When a Student Loses a Sibling: A Toolkit for Schools" on the upper left-hand side of the page.
This week's edition of "SUDC Insights" focuses on Nathan's story, as told by his loving family. Click the link in our bio to read.
As a part of the SUDC Foundation’s Medical Education Initiative to raise medical awareness of SUDC, we are embarking on a series of lectures. The first of these will be presented by Erin Bowen, MD, Pediatrician and SUDC Foundation Board of Directors member, and Declan McGuone, MBBCH FRCPathNeuro, Neuropathologist, and SUDC researcher. The presentation will be held at Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center Pediatrics Grand Rounds tomorrow, Wednesday, September 11 at 8am, discussing SUDC, including epidemiology, research, the role of the SUDC Foundation, and how pediatricians can support families after these tragedies. Thank you to Erin Bowen and the Medical Education SUDC Ambassadors and SUDC Researchers for spearheading the launch of this initiative! Medical Professionals can receive CME credit when tuning in live tomorrow, Wednesday, September 11th at 8am by going to: https://go.d-h.org/global1video
T-minus 30 days until our 2nd Annual Flights & Bites Fundraiser at Icarus Brewing in Lakewood. Will you be there? Make sure you get your tickets before they sell out! They are selling fast, and you don’t want to miss this. Link for tickets and more information in the bio #mackenzieblairfoundation #sudcawareness #sudc #njnonprofit #nonprofitorganization
Do you work for the U.S. government? The SUDC Foundation is a qualified charity in the 2019 Combined Federal Campaign (CFC). This means you can designate the Foundation as your employee giving charity of choice by entering number 63353. All designations must be entered by January 12th so "Show Some Love, Show You Care" and remember to share this with your federally employed family and friends. Click the link “Federal Employees” in our bio.
Silence. Nature. Peace. Things I've learned to crave and need. I used to think my mom and sister were crazy when they said they never listened to music. They liked silence. Now I understand. There's something about getting into Gods creations, slowing down and enjoying the present. It calms me in a way other things can't. Especially in grief, when it's so easy to try to keep so busy, because the silence magnifies the thoughts that are painful, yet, when we embrace them in silence and allow the grief to be there it seems to soften. Have you reached for silence in your life? If so, have you noticed a difference in your mental space?
Now she flies with butterflies....... Wearing pink and butterflies in honor of sweet Brooklyn, who has been gone for 2 years now. Our community will gather today to celebrate her memory and raise awareness for Sudden Unexplained Death in Children. #marthaandgideongotosundayschool #sudcawareness
“A grandparent’s grief is like a fork with two tines – one representing the loss of a grandchild, the other representing the pain of your own child’s suffering.” –M.H. Gerner
So I haven’t posted on here for quite a long time...I just lost my mojo with insta for a while, maybe down to the fact I’m constantly tired! Pregnant with twins, does kind of do that to you! But, I’ve missed posting, so wanted to let you all know we have had quite a few dramatic life changes in the last few months! • We’ve moved! Finally we made a life style decision to move our lives from Surrey back up to North Yorkshire, where I grew up. We have been floundering around in a panic, lost in a whirlpool of grief, desperately trying to find a new path out of the darkness. And then with the news that we were pregnant again...with twins, has helped us to focus our minds on what our family needed...and we came to the conclusion that we had to make a big change. So that’s what we’ve done, we sold our small two bed terrace in Surrey and moved to a big Yorkshire Stone house, big enough for us all to be a family, but also find our individuality again. • We’ve been here a month now, settling in and awaiting the arrival of our twin boys. It’s been (still is) a rollercoaster of emotions...leaving behind familiarity is hard, but it was becoming harder and harder to stay... • So here we are, in North Yorkshire and loving our new home. This home will be our project, our future and help us to heal, as our family grows. Harry is always with us, we have a special landing in the house and we’ve named it “Harry’s landing” as we will all walk through that space every day. We love and miss you my baby boy, you are in my every waking thought darling. I can feel you guiding us through. The stars ✨ at night here are so bright, I am always looking up and talking to you. Love you so much Harry 💙⭐️ • • • • • • • • • • #harryboboslegacy #grief #tryingtomoveforward #livingandgrieving #mummysboy💙 #moved #newhome #movedhouse #yorkshirehome #northyorkshire #freshstart #lifestylechange #keepgoing #newchapter #easingwold #yearsley #familylife #missingyoubabyboy #babyloss #sudcuk #sudcawareness #childloss #bigchanges #neverforgetting
There is a saying that time heals all wounds. Give it time they same. There is some element of truth to this, but if you don't do the grief work in that time, it doesn't matter how much time passes, heaviness of grief will stay the same. The "grief work" looks different for us all. There is not one way to grieve. There are ways that support our grief more than others, and ways that don't serve us in our grief more than others, but ultimately as the griever it's our choice in how grieve. The number one thing to remember- have compassion with yourself, and let go of all the things "you should" be doing. You are grieving. You are in pain. Don't be so hard on yourself. Today's episode on The Cultivated Family Podcast I share four things I've learned on my grief journey. Go listen in, and let me know your thoughts! #cultivatedfamily #thecultivatedfamilypodcast
It’s that time! The kids are back to school this week which means a crazy hectic time for moms and dads! Book some time for yourself and come to our 2nd Annual Flights and Bites Fundraiser at Icarus Brewing October 8th. You can purchase tickets in our bio as well as through a board member! #sudcawareness #mackenzieblairfoundation #sudc #njnonprofit #nonprofit
Trauma is not a life sentence. We have the ability, the tools, and the help out there to get help. Grief and trauma are different. Trauma and living with PTSD was one of the most horrific times in my life. The constant state of anxiety, stress, and fear. Living in constant fear of the normal, every day, even healthy thing. Sleep. I feared my other children would die in their sleep, I feared other people's children would die in their sleep. I feared Justin would die in his sleep. My trauma faced me every day many times a day in my life. But if I am able to live and say that I'm (mostly) better. If I can put my baby to sleep for a nap and not check on him. If I'm able to let it be in Gods hands instead of checking on all my kids every night. If I'm able to watch others people's children without fear of them dying on me. Then I know it's possible to heal trauma. If it's possible for me, then it's possible for you. I know it is. Do you?
9/4/16 Today was a hard day for mommy. I went to visit you something urge me to. I sat and spoke with you for 30 minutes just crying. Then cried some more on FaceTime with auntie Quana. That I fail as a mom feeling doesn’t go away. Auntie Quana gave me words of encouragement that gave me some peace. The main thing is she said we will meet again soon. It just sucks. 🦋💙💙💙 #thanksforthememories #gonebutnotforgotten #cairoforever #untilwemeetagain #missingyou #childlossawareness #childloss #childlosssupport #childlosssurvivor #sudcawareness
With Grandparents Day on the horizon (this Sunday, September 8th in the U.S.), we're taking a closer look at SUDC grandparent Jean Sibley and her experience with hosting Reading for Magnolia, an annual event held in memory of her beloved granddaughter, Magnolia. Learn more about Jean's story in this week's edition of "SUDC Insights” by clicking our bio link.
Today it would have been Megan's 11th birthday. Megan McPhee was born in September 2, 2008. In Lacey, Washington. To Michael and Jenny McPhee. Megan sadly gained her angel wings due to SUDC, and it is where a toddler dies unexpectedly. Her parents bless their memory by being members of the TEARS foundation, that helps parents with unexpected deaths of their children to be helped. Rest in Peace, Megan. September 2, 2008-March 10, 2010. (Burial located in Masonic Cemetery, Elma, Washington.) #meganmcphee #rip #restinpeace #neverforgotten #foreverinourhearts #gonetoosoon #sudc #sudcawareness #tragic
Wishing a gentle Father’s Day in New Zealand and Australia to every heart that beats with a father’s love.
I lost myself the day Aria died. Who I was- gone. An empty shell of myself. Broken. Shattered. Losing my child changed me on the deepest level. It changed how I parent, how I love, how I live, the lens in which I view life. Some good, some difficult to swallow. I was 23, and I often wondered if this was all that was left for me. Is my life over. Living this painful, empty, broken life. Yet, I knew that's not what I wanted for my life. I knew that if there was a way for me to find joy, or have a happy life still I wanted that. I knew because I was still here I had a purpose, and I didn't want to live the rest of my life the empty shell I had become. What about you? Grief changes you. Losing your child turns your whole world upside down. Do you believe it's possible to fill that empty shell up with life again? Do you believe it's possible for grief to be part of that empty shell, but that there's also room for life and hope?
The first step to getting help is awareness. I didn't know I had PTSD until someone else spoke into my life and mentioned that it might be a possibility for me. I also didn't know what anxiety was when I experienced it for the first time. When I heard others talking about it, I was so relieved. Until then- I just thought I was going crazy. After we become aware that we need help, it's up to each of us to accept that it's okay to get help, in order to actually make the time to get the help! So often we put ourselves on the back burner, just trying to deal with it on our own. There is help out there. There are ways to manage anxiety and heal from PTSD. You have options my sweet friend. I want to encourage you- if you are struggling with any mental health, you are not alone. If you feel crazy, you are not alone. If you feel out of control of your emotions and thoughts after your child has died- you are not alone. Getting help is okay, and it can mean the difference between drowning and thriving. Tag someone below who has had a child die, or had a baby in the past year. Not because you think they are struggling, but so that if they are struggling they can become aware of what's going on. It's because you love them and care for them ♥️ Listen today to my conversation on The Cultivated Family Podcast with Lyndsey from @serenityrecoverywellness about how she supports women during a very difficult season.
October is fast approaching and we are still in need of sponsors to offset the direct costs associated with hosting families during the 2019 Family Retreat! Sponsors will be recognized on signage prominently displayed during the retreat weekend as well as on the Family Retreat 2019 website. Click the link in our bio to read through the list of sponsorship opportunities and contact our Director of Development at email@example.com to learn more.
It’s that time of year again! Come and join us October 19th to help us celebrate Sanders and remember Slade. How you can be involved: - SPONSOR - DONATE to silent auction - FISH!! enjoy a day on the water and #fish4slade - PARTY! Join us in the evening for food by @smokebbqcharleston donuts from @hambycatering and entertainment by @therisingtidechs Information and tickets on website! Link in bio #sudcawareness #sudc #fish4slade SPECIAL THANKS TO @jat FOR GETTING THIS IG ACCOUNT RUNNING AGAIN Photo 📸 Cred: @svdalton
While the SUDC Foundation and the SUDC Registry and Research Collaborative (SUDCRRC) frequently partner together to foster high-quality research and to promote family bereavement support, they are each their own independent entities. Learn more about how the SUDC Foundation and the SUDCRRC are both dedicated to supporting professionals and families affected by sudden unexpected deaths of children in this week's edition of "SUDC Insights." Click the link in our bio.
"At least, you had 30 years with them." . "At least you have other kids." . "At least you know you can get pregnant" . "At least you can have more" . "At least you got to meet them" . When you lose a child everyone wants to try fix the pain, the problem. There is no fixing what has happened. A child has died, and the people left behind are in pain. Losing a child goes against the natural way we thing we will live. We never believe we will be burying our child, they should be burying us. There is nothing anyone can do or say to ease the pain. So don't try. Those comments are dismissive and brush off the reality of what is being experienced. Sit with them. Love them. Listen to them. Let go of the fear of needing to say things and say the right thing. Because there is nothing you can say to change the situation. Who has shown up in your life and showed you love after your child died?
Only one more appointment left 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 Doc said he looks great! CT Scan went well, now that’s he’s 3 he totally knows what’s going on in there . Back carry for the win, & to help hold him down for his iv 😞 3 yrs old 3ft 4 inches and 42lbs! 😳😂 Wore my #teamwesley shirt today and educated some nurses and med students on what SUDC is!! . . . . . . #spreadawareness #neuroblastoma #threeyearsold #almostoutoftheweeds #babyboy #texaschildrens #sudcawareness #teamwesley #rememberingourangels #kendallraekelley #wemissyoubigsis #backcarry #tula #blueeyedbaby
Thinking of all bereaved parents especially as children return to school for the new academic school year. #sudcuk #sudcawareness #sudcambassadors #sudcfoundation #childloss #goodgrief #goodgrieftrust #sudceducation #childbereavement #openuptogrief #volunteer #volunteerspirit #strongertogether
Registration is open for October 19, 2019! Come #fish4slade and celebrate his sister’s 6th birthday! #sudcawareness #sudc #faithhopelove Sponsorship forms and in kind donation forms available on website sladedozierfoundation.org or contact us directly! Lauradozier@sladedozierfoundation.org
Today we did a night walk in memory of a special little boy Wes whose birthday is Monday. He is an SUDC angel who should be turning 6 and we have a feeling he and Conor have become good friends. Sending his family so much love ❤️ #sudcawareness #teamwesley @gneissweiss