I earned a black belt in karate once, but I'm pretty sure that was just a dream.
I turned 24 this year which means I have the distinct pleasure of using anti-aging cream and zit cream at the same time. Stop asking me when I'm going to have kids, thanks.
What's up, NSA? Hope you enjoy the view.
January 2018. Somewhere in Indiana with two coats on. Some time before I realized gloves are essential in negative temperatures.
Never forget that here at @ahfternoontea, we are first and foremost a Robert Downey Jr. fan account.
January 2018 Somewhere along I-40 near Amarillo. Somewhere around 5°F. Sometime before I realized you can't use a lighter to thaw a gas tank.
I would like to finally admit that I hiked up the ski hills at least 12 times just so I could go into the chapel to sing. The chapel doors don't fully lock -- the right one flies right open if you give her a lil' tug. Also, the acoustics made it sound like I was a long-lost sister of @thestaves when I normally sound like a strained constipated cat, so that was nice. BUT please know that the crumpled tissue sitting in the window sill was not mine! It was there the first time I went in and I didn't want to tamper with the evidence in case someone was using it as bait to catch me. Phew. Feels good to get that off my chest.
Legend says those who like this picture of my ghost doodle are destined for spooky blessings, prosperity, and good health this fall. S'why I liked my own damn picture.
I am living my best 1870s life with these rags right now. Hoping to wake up without tuberculosis though. Who has experience with rag curls? Is this going to be catastrophic? #ragcurls #morelike #ragcurlz
Earth is flat, ancient aliens developed society, Beyoncé is a cult leader, the Denver Airport is a cover for The New World Order, and global warming is fake.
I love an antique shop with dead flowers out front. Wouldn't have an antique shop any other way.
I would like to take a moment to thank the cult I accidentally joined this year, and I'd also like to thank the pyramid scheme I was invited to join. It's truly been an incredible year, and I couldn't have done it all without the possible cult leader's voice echoing, "Are you SURE you want to leave?" in my ear. ✨✌️
January 2018, off the highway somewhere in Indiana.
January 2018. Bar Harbor, not to be mistaken for Harbor Bar.
February 2018 at the Lyric Theatre
I took this photo with my phone and two seconds later, my phone died. Don't test me now, Satan.
I was baptized Catholic and even went to a Catholic preschool & kindergarten. I've since forgotten everything I ever learned about the religion except that Jesus is the #1 holy dude and Noah built a sick-ass arc. One time at a Catholic wedding, not considering myself to be a "Catholic in good standing" anymore, and fearing spontaneous combustion if I lied about being a good Catholic, I crossed my arms in front of my chest instead of receiving communion. The minister priest deacon man said a prayer for my misguided soul. I forgot what I was supposed to say in response, so I said, "...thhh....anks" and walked away. I had a sinus infection that cleared up two days later, so that's when I started believing in God again.
If I steal his suit, then he'll have to just save the world as Clark Kent.